That's Entertainment?

I know that I said the last post was my final Academy Award post. And I had every intention of sticking to that. However today I was with my mom and we were getting our hair done at a friend's salon and naturally we started talking about the show last night. I was telling my mom about it, specifically about some of the more boring aspects. Doing a few impressions of a couple of the most boring speeches. My mom made the point that not all of them, them being the winners, would have good public speaking abilities. I know that not all actors will be naturally good public speakers and many of the winners were of course people behind the scenes. But I made the point that if you know you aren't a good public speaker, make the speech short and sweet. My mom then jokingly said that I should be the director of the Academy Awards. Realizing that this may be a tad silly she then made a more reasonable suggestion of writing a blog about my impressions of the entertainment of the night. And so here we are.

When they first annouced that Anne Hathaway and James Franco were going to be hosting I was equal parts annoyed and confused. A weird pairing to be sure, I found it strange that a nominee for best actor was going to be hosting and I really don't like Anne Hathaway, equal parts confused and annoyed. I figured sitting through three hours of Anne Hathaway's annoying fake perkiness would make the night a tough one for me. But I figured that as strange as it was that James Franco was a host he would make the night full of fun and be nice eye candy. Wow I don't know if I could have been more wrong. Anne Hathaway made the evening fun and interesting. It turns out that her fake perkiness and annoying simpering self make the perfect combination for hosting the Academy Awards. And whether it was due to nerves or just that he isn't very exciting live James Franco bored me almost to tears. The one highlight of his night was when he came out wearing the Marilyn Monroe get-up from her "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" number from the movie "Gentlemen Perfer Blondes." It was amusing. However other then that he was droll, stiff, and didn't seem to be paying attention to what was going on around him. It made Anne Hathaway work twice as hard to keep the energy up.

If that was the only boring part of the evening it might have been excusable. This was unfortuantely not the case. The show itself was almost a dud. Sure it was full of glamour and glitz. And the stage they had for the night was pretty spectacular. It was like one big screen, with layers. Other then that the whole night was missing something. I don't know if the Academy had to put a cap on how much humor they were allowed to use or what but the funny was definetely not present. The funniest speech was from Hollywood legend Kirk Douglas, who presented the award for best supporting actress, and you could only understand every third word or so. Even Randy Newman brought the funny. Excepting a few other moments of humor, including a moment between Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr. that made fun of Downey Jr.'s sordid past and a great Bob Hope story by Billy Crystal, that was about it. 

Acceptance speeches should be something that you want to listen to. Or at the very least things that you don't mind listening to. Most of them turn into this "I want to thank my manager of 5 years and my cast and crew, my mom and of course my beautiful wife/husband. Also this person, and this person and this person and this person..." until the music starts playing and they are escorted off. It's like a bedtime story. Only not interesting in the least. There have been a handful of truly amazing acceptance speeches in the history of the Academy Awards. Including Sally Field's exremely long speech which actually was the speech that made the Academy put the cap on speech length. Nice work Sally.

Since then winners have been trying to cram quite a lot into a small amount of time. However even with the cap there have been some great speeches. Halle Berry when she won best actress, Tom Hanks when he won for "Philadelphia," and Forrest Whitaker's speech when he won for "The Last King of Scotland." This year there was really nothing noteworthy. Except of course for being noteworthy in boringville. Colleen Atwood, won best costume design for "Alice In Wonderland," gave a speech that was something that would have been edited out if the show had been something other than live. Yes I know that she is not a performer or a public speaker but her speech was awful even for someone who was nervous. She took a long list out of her bra or wherever she stored it and read the whole thing. Without glancing up even once. Not only did she read from a list but she went over the time limit. It was disaster city!

There were a few funny moments. A few times that made me remember what it used to be like to watch the show. Especially the moment that made the night full of drama, when the camera went to Annette Benning's face when Natalie Portman won. That is one pissed off actress. Again I want to say that I understand that not every good actor can speak publicly and of course those that are behind the scenes, costume desginers, writers, directors, that aren't used to performing at all. I accept that there is that nervousness to deal with, the animosity of those around that didn't win. But those who do win can do a couple of things to make the night a little more with the pep and less with the tired. A: if you know you are too nervous to stand up there for any length of time make the speech short and sweet. B: if you are an actor and aren't good with the public speaking AND haven't been practicing your acceptance speech since day one of your first day of work on your first movie, or even before, use a little of your craft. Act your way through it. Find a way to act yourself. Or at least a way to act the part of a person who can be interesting for at least a minute. C: if none of the above works fake crying, say a quick thank you to the Academy and your family and book it off the stage.

Whether it's nerves or pure boringness baked in the entertainment event of the year needs to find a way to keep people entertained. People tune in to watch the Academy Awards in the millions,this year I believe they said that a billion people were watching. However that number is going to dwindle if the show starts becoming less of a show and more of a "here's an award for you...next." I love the Academy Awards. I always have and I always will. I may not get a 100% of winner perdictions right but I seem to navigate it alright and it will always, always be my favorite time of year. But they need to go back to when it was a night full of amazing things and a true joy to watch.

I mean it is the entertainment industry right? And the event is an entertainment event. So why not bring the entertainment? After all, no matter what, the show must go on.